This is a top ten list, because, if I’m being completely honest with myself, anything that comes out of Beyoncé’s mouth has the capability of making me cry. So in that case, without any sort of limitations, this would just be a list of every Beyoncé song. Which, while lengthy, would make for a much less interesting read. I also had to make a serious effort to avoid exclusively listing songs from Lemonade. This list should shine a light on just how easily I cry (which is extremely – see also; gay dolphins, anything miniature, unlikely animal friends, hamsters being served tiny meals, toddler ballerinas, and the list goes on and on). Disclaimer: these songs are in no way based on what a reasonable person finds emotional – though there is some overlap. Essentially, not tearing up by these songs does not make you an emotionless void. But if at the very least you don’t take this opportunity to enjoy to wonder that is Beyoncé, then you probably have no heart and worse, very poor taste. These are in no particular order. Here we go.
10. All Night
This song is actually the inspiration for this post. It came on in the middle of my morning bathroom ritual, and I had to stop plucking and have a seat to collect myself. I had an idea of what I would write about it while brainstorming, but I put it on as I started typing up this description, and I’m a puddle. It’s so loving and hopeful and just all around so beautiful. At the end she says “how I’ve miss you my love.” Goosebumps. This is one of the more reasonable songs listed.
Another classic. If you search the depths of facebook, you’ll probably find a a truly awful video of me and my friends unintelligibly screaming the lyrics. That aside, there’s something about the drums midway though the song makes me choke up every time. Bonus: the video features a dachshund for about a millisecond. Pass the kleenex.
John Mayer did a cover of this song, that I’ll admit I really love. However, his rendition doesn’t give me the pre-sob chills of Beyoncé’s. One time while driving, this song came on, and I had to pull the car over and accidentally ended up inline at a VERY pricy carwash. Thanks, B.
Another thing that makes me cry is pretty much anything relating to babies. This song is extremely sweet on its own. But when Blue herself is featured…forget about it, I’m just done. Further, I aspire to be Blue when I grow up. Usually when toasting, if nothing else immediately comes to mind, my friends and I toast to Blue Ivy by default. That on it’s own is something to cry about.
Once in the middle of 50 cent night (referring not to the rapper, but rather the cost of the beverages) at The Boot, a young man performed what appeared to be a choreographed chair dance to this song for my own viewing pleasure. I assume this was supposed to be a turn on, but my friend Zoe spit her drink out all over him, laughing. Sometimes I think about this story and laugh so hard that tears come out of my eyes. That didn’t exactly go where you expected, now did it.
5. Love on Top
To announce her pregnancy, Bey performed this song at the 2011 VMAs. At the end of the song she dropped her mic, unbuttoned her jacket and rubbed her belly. I’m not ashamed to admit that was one of the most emotional moment of my life. I can’t imagine being that overcome with joy when I’m given the news of my own pregnancy. A similar moment happened earlier this year when she announced via Instagram that she is pregnant with twins. Once again I cried. In any case, this song always reminds me of the big reveal, and I can’t help but find myself overcome with the same emotions from 2011. I also love reenacting this moment anywhere at anytime this song is played.
3. Naughty Girl
I very vividly remember watching this video on repeat on the computer in my friend’s playroom in the 6th grade. We also danced along, trying the learn the choreography. And we thought we looked damn good, braces and ironic t-shit included. This memory brings me to tears at how much of a loser I was. Even now, I’m far too white to reasonably pull off this choreography.
There’s nothing more beautiful and tear-provoking than friendship. Technically speaking this isn’t a Beyoncé song. But if I was forced to name a lead in the group…..
1. Telephone….by Lady Gaga
Also not a Beyoncé song. But the thought of Lady Gaga alone makes me cry. So the combination of Gaga and B is an explosion of artistic wonder that is, for me, a sob fest. Maybe it’s the romantic in me, but it’s always been a dream of mine to one day poison an ex and drive off into the sunset with my BFF. This video is that dream realized, and nothing is more beautiful than your dreams manifesting in front of you.
If it seems that my blog has had a heavy focus on music lately, then you’re very astute, because it has. You must have known what you were getting into from the beginning. I mean, it is me after all; but I guess not all of you can fully understand and appreciate that. In any case, I told you up front this blog isn’t exclusively about my art – and I think you’d be really bored if it was. But, don’t worry. Expect an update on my shotguns (houses) and a really fabulous tutorial on scratchboards coming very soon.